GET HELP OR STAY SINGLE

By Bobjohnson


Does your spouse, boy/girlfriend constantly become frustrated with you for the same thing over and over? Does it seem like at any moment the relationship can become a thing of the past? How many of you feel like she is NEVER satisfied or he is too PARANOID? Do you hear comments like, “Right now I don’t care what happens,” or “If you would have just paid attention to me…?”
This is all too common and can happen when a person enters into a relationship with issues and too much baggage. These problems are caused by failing to properly heal and will weigh the relationship down. Some people need to get PROFESSIONAL help before they enter into a new relationship. If not, they end up wasting the other persons time by forcing them to deal with unhealed pain and hurt from the previous relationship, and this is a selfish act.
ALL hurt should be dealt with on a professional level. Many people don’t seek therapy because they are ashamed or they can’t afford it, but traditionalism (if that’s a word) is slowly taking a back seat to the new ways of doing things. There are plenty of ways to get help. For instance, books are a great self help tool. If you are a reader you can find comfort and help in a book. Psychiatrists and other professional advisors are also authors. If you plan to take this route, make sure the book is one that is not biased. You want to read a book that present FACTS and explains the pros and cons of every solution.
Another thing you can do is TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for the part YOU played in the failing of the last relations and CHANGE. Do some reflecting. Look for what seemed to be the biggest complaint/problem and change it. Don’t change for your ex, change for yourself. Change the things that may affect or threaten your future relationship.
Eating healthier and exercising regularly can be therapy within itself. After a break up many people become emotionally stressed out. Their eating and sleeping habits change as well as their socializing habits. This, if not addressed, can compound the problems brought into the new relationship.
Lastly, DATE! Do you buy the first car you see? NO! Take time to date and have fun. You don’t have to commit to the first person that says kind words to you and getting involved with someone that has a “controlling” issue is trouble. No one owns you and you are free to date whoever you want. Never get involved with someone that wants you to get rid of your other friends.
When entering into a new relationship, take time to get to know the other person. Don’t simply rush into it because you have these warm fuzzy feelings. Warm fuzzy feelings come with anything new and soon WEAR OFF! When these feelings wear off you find that you are in a relationship with a person who you are not as compatible with as you thought.

If you just got out of another relationship, you may feel that you have to settle for the one you are in now until you find something better or simply because you are afraid to be by yourself. This is a selfish act. You are not only wasting someone else’s valuable time, you are cheating yourself.
If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again!